HOW TO BE A BETTER PARENT
SELF ESTEEM WIN
If you have kids, then you have created a situation for yourself in which you have great responsibility. Some people shirk this responsibility and others take great pride in it. If you are a parent and here to learn how to be a better parent, then know you are winnning already.
It is those who are open to learning that usually succeed in their endeavours.
Everyone on this planet are made up of one humanity.
In that, we share a oneness as humans, however parenting styles and relationship dynamics are unique and autonomous across the board.
Being in ownership of oneself is a sweet feel and a good vibe to be able to dial in the tips that will be distilled here for you to know how to be a better parent.
HOW TO BE A BETTER PARENT – THE CHECKLIST
Check Yourself and Your Esteem
Boost Your Childs Esteem and Sense of Self Worth
Catch Your Kids Being Good
Set Boundaries and Be Consistent in Upholding Them
Invest Time, Space and Attention Offline with Your Kids
Make Communicaiton a Principle of Priority
Be Flexible and Open To New Ideas
Role Model the Behaviours You Expect
CHECK YOURSELF AND YOUR OWN ESTEEM OF SELF
HOW TO BE A BETTER PARENT – SELF ESTEEM WIN
If you fail to take ownership of your own state of being you are perpetuating then you may be at a level of unconsciousness that can prove less than a thrive for your relational dynamics.
When you are able to acknowledge who you are being as well as what you are doing then this kind of self awareness is a huge win for not only you, but the kids too!
Kids always emulate the behaviours of their most influential role models.
If you are untethered within yourself and lacking a confidance in your own self worth then that is a recipe for reactive disaster.
Anxiety, regret, guilt, judgement, sorrow, grief, remorse and aggression are all states that are perpetuated in a mismanagement of self.
Check in with yourself and see how comfortable your state is day in and day out.
If you are in full command and management of your own lifeforce and it is optimal, then this only floods over to the dynamics you are creating within your famjam.
The same goes for the opposite polarity of self destruction and lack of self ownership.
You made these kids, you are responsible to get your shiznik in order and dial in a thrive for them, for you and for humanity, overall.
So, check yourself.
BOOST YOUR CHILD’S ESTEEM & SENSE OF SELF WORTH
HOW TO BE A BETTER PARENT – SELF ESTEEM WIN
Many parents inadvertently destroy their child’s sense of self worth and autonomy with unconscious behaviour that is under the guise of good intentions. Controlling situations, using language of “don’t” and “what’s wrong with you” and “what the hell are you thinking?” are all expressions of reactivity and parental concern but when you dial in this kind of feel, you deplete your child’s sense of esteem and worth.
If your child is saying or doing anything that you care not for, or makes you feel scared or you feel needs redirection, then by all means be the ambassador and caretaker of responsibility in behaviour.
There is a key element that frequently gets negated in the natural rearing of children. It is subtle but has a HUGE IMPACT.
Make the actions of your kids about the acition/behaviour INSTEAD OF it being about who they are. You affirm the worth of the child and that you love them for who they are unconditionally. just think about the impact of that for a mere moment.
How that appeals to a child’s sensitivities.
A child is in a state of learning and navigation.
They are not adults, like you, so do not have your acumen of reasoning.
As humans, being endowed with an understanding of self worth is gold to any humans sense of direction in the success of their life.
A simple affirmiation that you love everything about who they are and they need not change any aspect of themselves. Then refer to their BEHAVIOUR. You can do this is an reverse psychology kind of feel. “I am surprised that such a kind and thoughtful boy such as yourself would do something so insenstive and thoughtless.”
These kind of approaches to language and realignment enable behavioural changes without diminishing your child’s sense of self worth or esteem.
The esteem of any individual is at the fundamental core of all human expansions and relating.
If you were berated or judged as a child then that may be your go to dial in style of parenting. Having a conscious awareness of your own self (step 1) will make any shifts you require to come into fruition. Go easy and be kind to yourself and yoru kids as you are both in a state of evolution and growth.
Nurture it lovingly and kindly.
The mirror effect of the metaphysical is a very real thing. Use it. What you put in, will be rewarded back to you.
CATCH YOUR KIDS BEING GOOD
HOW TO BE A BETTER PARENT – SELF ESTEEM WIN
The propensity for protection is rooted deep in the mammalian brain as a methis of survival and evolution for the human species.
Back in a day where technology was not so readily available, people had to rely on the art of connection and communication in real time and in person. Nowadays, most people are atttached to some kind of technological device.
As a result the level of brain function and mastery has dwindled somewhat and many reactive aspects of a humans governance gets skewed or imbalanced.
Being reactive to your kids behaviour and fixing it with redirection in a calm and neutral tone is a sweet feel for a child well being. An even sweeter feel, however, is to become proactive in your language and expectation of your child’s dial in. Starting sentences off with “I am so grateful for your helping me out this afternoon with household tasks and being respectful.”
Then, when the expected behaviour happens, you affirm the good that they are doing.
This approach takes some mental trainiong investment on your part, but once implemented is a beautiful creative energy in parenting. “Thank you for being so responsible and making sure your room is clean before bedtime” is a much more effective way to get them to clean their room than berating them that they are slobs and they better take care of their stuff or else.
Intimidation is a low feel and although you have command over the rearing of your children, do not mistake that as control over their own sense of autonomous individuality.
You are a guide, not an owner. When you purposefully set up a positive expectation to their behaviour and then catch them being good and acknowledging as such, it provides a great reward tot he developing psyche and emotional wellness to a child’s development.
Your focus of attention has a MASSIVE IIMPACT. Make the focus one of positivity and support. A very different paradigm from punitive and critical attention on undesirable developing behaviours.
SET BOUNDARIES AND BE CONSISTENT IN UPHOLDING THEM
HOW TO BE A BETTER PARENT – SELF ESTEEM WIN
If you need some guidance on how to dial in solid boundaries, then check this post out here. If you need further tips on how to dial in a thrive with your kids development, then you can also check out this post here.
Boundaries are a good measuring stick for a child to understand what they can get away with and what is totally offside in terms of behaviour and their modus operandi.
When you give a child free reign to be, do and have whatever they want, then you are aligned with the natural order, however a level of balance and aptitude for quantum living has to be well endowed in your own experience to enable such a gift to a child without yielding narcissism and entitlement.
Conveying to your child that all possibilities and desires are a perfectly natural aspect of life is a quantum natural order thrive that children will resonate very easily with.
There is great value in enabling and understanding and acumen of infinite potential and possibilities to a child’s perceptual development. It is how they are wired, naturally.
Implementing the education of personal boundaries is an empowerment thrive for not only you, but your child too. Remaining consistent in your implementation of boundaries is key to enforcing a solid sense of respect and understanding within your child and their perceptions of what they can and cannot get away with in terms of behaviour.
Endowing them with an education of appropriate and dignified relational behaviours and remaining vigilant and enforcing on your standard of respect and peaceful relating is one of the greatest gifts you can give a child and the adult they will become.
INVEST TIME, SPACE AND ATTENTION OFFLINE WITH YOUR KIDS
HOW TO BE A BETTER PARENT – SELF ESTEEM WIN
You can tell a child a lot by how you ACT when you are around them.
You can tell a child that you are interested in them and that you love them, but if you have your face in a screen while at the playground or in your domicile, your actions are incongruent with your professed words.
Engaging in activities offline with your child is the best way to understand them and get them to understand you.
Time, space and attention in presence is an investment that far outweighs any kind of activity of allowance of screen time. It is a misnomer of a biological conditioning to impose the normalization of screen time of the frequency of a developing child.
There is no replica to human connection and invested attention from a parent to the child(ren) that they have brought into the world.
All memories are formed through mental and emotional causality.
Tickles, board games, hide and seek, tree cliimbing, bike riding, scooting, time in nature, new adventure explorations are all natural offline activities that enable a more solid and connected feel to the well being of your children.
Keeps you fit and young too when you harness the energy of a child’s enthusiasm for discovery.
Whatever your own interests, even if they are the polar opposite of that of your kids, be a good human and expand your repertoire.
Being open to new experiences enables a space of discovery to cultivate connection, curiosity and adventure in the entirety of your famjams life.
MAKE COMMUNICATION A PRINCIPLE OF PRIORITY
HOW TO BE A BETTER PARENT – SELF ESTEEM WIN
Your powers as a human being are rooted in your expression.
To learn more about the empowerment available to you in your own dial in as a human you can scope out these two solid resources here:
1. YOUR LIFE FORCES OF EMPOWERMENT STEPS 1-3
2. YOUR LIFE FORCES OF EMPOWERMENT STEPS 3-7
Being able to express yourself in feelings, words and actions is a wholesome way to exercise your right as a human being in a natural state of expression.
Expression of your own feels is a solid way to impart to your kids that emotional intelligence is a thing and it is a wise idea to harness a solid relationship to ones emotions.
Being able to process and express the emotional experience is pivotal to the overall pscyhological and physiological health of a child and an adult. Many adults of today were taught as children that emotional expression was a sign of weakness when the biological truth of emotions is to inform our experience as to what is right for us.
Being able to communicate openly about your feels and providing a safe space for your children to do the same is one of the most supportive investments you can provide your growing and developing child.
The experiences a child undergoes is providing them conditioning. From birth to the ages 7 or 8 is when the subconscious programming is implemented in a human system. This is your primary beliefs and perceptions about the world and are imparted to you based on the emotionally and psychologically impactful happenings that occur in human development.
Providing clear communication in words such as explanations, reasons and understanding of the new things and experiences your child is going through enables them to feel secure and guided with all that encompasses their experience. When your child is comfortable to come to you and tell you authentically what is going on with them in their world then you can empower them with knowledge and support.
If you have a general disinterest in real communication and authentic relating then you are in a dive rather than a thrive. Gaining your own communication skills as an adult, if necessary, is solid investment for you and your entire famjam dynamic.
Solid invested listening is a great acumen to develop within yourself for optimal connectivity to anyone, but especially your kids. Taking a genuine interest and listening intently to listen, rather than listening merely to reply is an elevated and dignified investment. Get curious about your kids. Get curious about their felt experiences and then invest in talking to them about their journey thorugh that which they are impacted.
Communication is key to healthy and bonding relational dynamics.
BE FLEXIBLE AND OPEN TO NEW IDEAS
HOW TO BE A BETTER PARENT – SELF ESTEEM WIN
If you are know everything and claim to be an expert then in truth you are professing that there is no room for new learngin or growth. As adults with our ideas and our experiences, we can sometimes get so taken with the happenings of the analytical mind that we forget our conscious one.
Learning and evolving are the natural order of the Universe in which we live. As a parent, if you root your ideals and beliefs in a framework of only your own individual expereince then you are going against the natural order.
Children encompass brain states of discovery, curiosity and learning that is unparalled in the brain of a conditioned adult. It is supremely limiting to a child to be lumped into one or both of their parents convictions based on their life experience.
Being a child is a process of discovery. Children have way more expanded and intuitive knowledge than any adult walking around. It is just a cerebral fact. As a parent, even if you don’t get your kids vibe or understand why they are into what they are into, it is imperative you show up with a mental attitude of openness and uncondtiatoinal support. Even if their interests greatly differ from what is comfortable for you and your repertoire of perception, your influence and reactions to that which they come to you with, determines their relationship to it.
Using supportive language and being real with yourself about your own hang ups or beliefs that may prove limiting is a huge gift to bestowment into the environment in which your child is discovering themselves and the world around them.
ROLE MODEL THE BEHAVIOURS YOU EXPECT
HOW TO BE A BETTER PARENT – SELF ESTEEM WIN
Words don’t teach.
Experience does.
If you tell your kids that smoking is bad and then you light up a cigarette in front of them , you are living incongruently. Your actions as a parent have a much more profound impact on your child’s understanding than your words do.
If you give your kid the gears for never cleaining up after themselves and you yourself throw your stuff about with no personal responsiblity, then your words and actions are misaligned and your child is left with confusion.
Be impeccable with your actions if you want your child to act appropriately.
It really is that simple.
Your child will either adopt your bad habits or become a great advocate against them because kids are smart and can see much more than some parents will give them credit for.
Give your kids the credit they deserve and represent your own self in authentic and congruent behaviour.
You are, of course, human, and will make mistakes. When you do, acknowledge them and then repair them.
This enables a child to see how to take responsibility. If you engage in activities and behaviours that are not synonomous with the righteous standards you uphold to your kids, then you lose your credibility and risk losing respect from your child who will take your advice and dictates with less seriousness then if you backed your words by congruent actions.
If you expect certain behaviours from your children, ensure you are modeling them yourself, otherwise you are conveying a big bag of hypocrite to your kids and lose your parent street cred.
Keep your cred and be a solid human by reverting back to tip number one.
Go Easy On Yourself and Your Kids.
Life is Meant to Be Fun and a Process of Evolution and Discovery.
Have At It.
