The next pillar of self-esteem that we will expand upon in this post is the 4th one out of the 6th and that is the practice of self assertiveness.
What Is It To Be Assertive? To Engage In The Practice of Self Assertiveness?
How Do You Define Your Ability To Assert Yourself?
We can be passive participants in our own governance, or we can be tremendously brave and courageous. The practice of self assertiveness means we can take the reins of our own vibe and how to enhance the best vibe we can for and within ourselves.
To be able to assert yourself is an indication of your ability to honour all aspects of yourself, your wants, desires, needs.
If you do not assert yourself, then you are contributing to a factor of disempowerment.
Being able to confidently assert yourself in any situation has an impact on your outcomes.
A person that is well versed in their own esteem will enter a room and their energy is encompassed with assertiveness.
It is a characteristic and quality that denotes a level of governance of oneself in calm confidence and assurity. Surrendering to a timid state of being when it comes to your own expression of honouring yourself and the unique aspects of yourself does not lend itself to a thrive vibe.
If you lack assertiveness in your life then it acts as a form of avoidance or placation in your interactions.
How are you ever to get where you need to go and get what your heart desires if you stand by and passively exist.
Assertion is a gateway to your empowerment.
Let us not misunderstand assertiveness to be confused with belligerence.
The ability to be assertive and express yourself assertively does not preclude you from decent and respectful human behaviour.
This is an aspect of our human experience that people would do well to understand and implement.
I supported myself for a good portion of my former life as a bartender, server and restaurant manager.
The amount of people I encountered in my on again and off again flexible and well paying job who would become like children in a full-blown tantrum if something should be amiss with some aspect of their dining experience.
The Manner in Which We Assert Ourselves is an Indication of our Own Esteem & Governance of Our Own Beings.
The guy who is yelling indignantly about his steak being too chewy has more deep-seated issues than the professionally cooked meal in front of him.
The manner in which you are able to dial in the first three pillars is inherently connected too, with assertion. If you have a tantrum every time you don’t get your way, then I would impel you to look at the first three pillars. Taking responsibility for ourselves, but also our own capabilities of assertion are aspects of ourselves we have full control over. Take control.
A quote from Dr. Bradens book reads
” Self assertiveness means the willingness to stand up for myself, to be who I am openly, to treat myself with respect in all human encounters.”
Sounds Like A Pretty Good Vibe, No?
We come to the topic of authenticity when it comes to the assertion of ourselves.
Getting honest and real about the innermost and sincere feelings and convictions you hold within.
This isn’t just a once in a while kind of vibe.
This is the way of your life.
The governance of your life and how you roll in your every day.
Passive or Assertive?
When you have humility and understanding within about who you are and how you dial that in and then can express this honestly, openly and with a steady voice, then you are living in a very very empowered space.
Self assertiveness need not be a personal crusade. We can use our own discernment based on our preferred outcomes and in particular circumstances we can consciously choose ( the practice of living consciously)
The manner in which you assert yourself with a kindergarten child versus that of an adult in your workplace will yield very different energies from you and as a result you do not sacrifice your right to assertiveness and authenticity, but you do hold a rationality within of the reality you find yourself within.
With self-assertion, there is context of that assertion and being wise enough to discern that context.
To know what you perceive of a situation and remain real and true to who you are in those circumstances is acting with self-assertion.
When slavery and human demeanment were a normalized practice in society, the “perceived” human of inferiority would be condemned to lowering of their eyes and not permitted to make eye contact with their captor.
The same was true in regards to the abhorrent stains on humanity that is racism.
Men of colour were condemned to not assert their vision upon that of a Caucasian woman.
Compelled to look down – It is so crazy but informational.
To be able to see and look with the eyes of which you contain your own consciousness is the first fundamental foundation of what self assertiveness entails.
To stand and look at the consciousness that is your viewpoint and being in this world.
To Be & Behave Consciously.
To have conscious awareness of your capacities to think, see, be present and send the light of consciousness out into the world and receive it back inwardly.
You are an entity within which consciousness is inherent. You need an understanding or at least a basic knowledge of your own consciousness to be able to dial in self-assertion with success.
If you are unconscious and overly assertive, it can look like belligerent drunkenness, always having a resistant reaction to anything and everything in the name of your right to assert yourself.
The key to self assertiveness is the ability to express what you will and will not allow in your world, but in a manner that is done so respectfully for all parties involved.
Hormonal teenagers who aim to protect their boundaries while undergoing major hormonal shifts in their physiologies assert themselves destructively or in protest.
Self assertiveness allows us to express and boundary what we won’t accept, but it is superior vibe to understand and implement that the polarity of that is that we express what we accept and value.
Being rooted in the “don’t wants’ and “it’s my right to say no” is appropriate for certain situations, but not as running theme.
That kind of energy depletes and nothing can expand and grow from that kind of consistent focus.
Through my healing trauma, I have learned to be more assertive.
I am not shy anymore if something makes me feel unsafe or uneasy, uncomfortable or weary, I address it immediately and, when coherent, with loving kindness.
I have become so adept at asserting my well-being that it can prove intimidating to those who do not practice this pillar of esteemed vibes in living.
I recognize immediately if people are not used to standing up for themselves or having someone assert themselves in their experience.
It may take a little legwork and courage to be able to confidently assert your needs and desires in any given situation, but if it is done with a sincere and peaceful approach then there is no reason as to why the outcomes can not be favourable.
To Assert Yourself, Your Needs, Your Wants & Your Desires Takes Courage.
It takes knowledge of the self too, which can be daunting for some who have always been guided or told who they are meant to be.
Many parents denote their children as difficult or misbehaving when they are merely asserting their childlike wonder and curiosity that has no barriers or conditions thrust upon it….that is, until the adult gets involved.
Asserting Our Desires Is Inherent In Who we are as individuals.
My son is a very vibrant and energetic young boy.
He has asserted his free will since he was cognizant of himself having one.
My partner and I are cut from that kind of cloth – the freedom feels vibe so we respect our child’s rights and freedoms and allow him his own voice in our interactions.
Ultimately, when you engage and enlist the feedback and experience of your kid(s) then they feel connected and empowered.
To you and themselves.
Allowing your children to assert their independence and assert their free will are very conscious and uplifting human practices in parenting.
Remember that boundaries are healthy and demonstrating civil and kind behaviour to oneself and others is the basis for affluent and peaceful living.
The Value Of Integrity Is Closely Associated With Self Assertiveness.
A Life Asserting What You Will Not Tolerate Is No Life To Thrive Within.
Self assertiveness means that we assert what we are for and what we enjoy and celebrate in our life experience.
Committing To Your Own Life & The Flourishing Of Your Existence.
To many people who have had their lives guided and directed for them as well as those who were not gifted the ability to question authority or discern their own thought forms and beliefs for themselves, then self-assertion can seem like a pretty daunting and unappealing vibe.
Very wise words from Dr Braden denotes that people who are required to take full responsibility of their own life and its outcomes as well as being the source and generator of their own experience can cause a huge amount of fear.
It is not the fear itself that is the problem, but the surrendering to the fear can cultivate a being wrought with diminished esteem of oneself.
If you do not stand up for your right to exist, then how to you feel dignified in that existence.
Your life is yours and yours alone.
It may seem like your life is intertwined with others and that may be the case as it is with me.
I live with an 8-year old and fifty-four year old and they are both males. I am a woman and I am so grateful for my beautiful family.
I also appreciate and understand the importance of mine own interests and autonomy.
The reason my partner and I have been so successful is because of this very understanding.
To be free and have autonomy in your family dynamic makes for generating some superior energy when you all synergies your own vibes together.
Your ideas and your desires are valid.
It is good gig to get in the habit of asserting your will and right to be.
As children many are reared to believe that they must satisfy the wants, desires and needs of others.
This will fail you every time.
To assert your own independence and to have the courage to honour you in your raw authentic self is an empowerment you can gift yourself and one in which absolutely NO ONE can take from you.
Self surrender, self-sacrifice and complacent states when confronted with people or situations that rub your Soul the wrong way is the alternative and it is very easy to do this and it requires you to really do nothing and be passive to your life experience.
Both models of being in the world are available to you.
It depends solely upon you.
Are you up for it?
Society is built in a way that you go along with the collective.
Many people buy into a modality of living that is very similar across the board.
These modalities of living are just wonderful for those who are comfortable to follow a pre ordained structure of how to have a successful life.
Other people who assert their independence and cultivate new and imaginative things in this world for others to benefit from are some of these worlds the greatest contributors and gifts.
To Live With Balance Is A Good Vibe.
To be able to get along with the collective as well as assert your independence is a tricky play of having a broad outlook on the reality of things and also assert your individuation.
Equal rights for women and equal rights for men haven’t always been a thing.
Equal rights for people with shades of pigment in their skin (which is universal for all humans) was not and in some cases presently is still not a thing.
To assert your right to life.
Rosa Parks demonstrated beautifully the practice of self assertiveness and that was a huge movement for the people of her community as a result.
It’s no small feat and can be hard to assert oneself when the masses of collective thinking all sway in one direction.
When I lived in Mexico in the early 2000s racism and classification of worth by race was witnessed.
I spoke out against the situations I was directly witness to. This is the practice of self assertiveness in play.
The dignity of a human being and honouring the dignity of a human being is paramount and in my opinion, outweighs any misguided perceptions that one humans life is somehow of more value to another.
Hollywood promotes this weird vibe as if to say that if you a star, then you are really a star, but one need only look at the likes of Bill Cosby and John Lasseter of Pixar to understand that it is all just smoke and mirrors. Those who came at a deficit of their behaviours received an education of the practice of self assertiveness in the most diminishing ways, I have no doubt.
Fundamentally, it comes down to who an individual really is and what kind of honesty, integrity and value they cultivate and explore within and the dignity they keep of their own esteem.
To assert that within yourself will determine the kind of individual you will become or remain to be. This IS the practice of self assertiveness.
It takes courage to question the nature of your own beliefs and values.
Your life’s outcomes are usually pretty good indicators for the kind of person you are being in your life.
How are your relationships? How are your accomplishments? How are you? Like, really?
Are You Living Your Most Authentic Life & Asserting As Such In Your Experience Or Are You Living Out Of Duty Or Expectation?
Or Is It A Happy Hybrid Of The Two? The Practice of Self Assertiveness Leads The Way.
I am not sure that one human being can autonomously assert themselves given how intertwined we humans all are, but you can certainly endeavour to do so in your experience and interactions with those whom you find yourself surrounded.
To know yourself. To be in concert with the dignity of yourself and its ultimate expression is phenomenally rewarding living.
Asserting your right to live how you deem is the extraordinary is your right to life.
Vibes that thrive indeed.